


Correspondingly so

by LiveOakWithMoss



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Epistolary, Humor, Implied hanky panky, Inappropriate thank you gifts, M/M, Sexy letters disguised as not sexy letters, The game of Elf Risk returns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-07 23:54:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7734730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiveOakWithMoss/pseuds/LiveOakWithMoss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Lords of Nargothrond and Himlad exchange letters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Correspondingly so

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cygnete](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cygnete/gifts).
  * Translation into English available: [Correspondingly so](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8261708) by [shadowoftheday654321](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowoftheday654321/pseuds/shadowoftheday654321)



> 0\. With birthday wishes to my own beloved correspondent, Silje <3

Lord Finrod Felagund of Nargothrond,

It has come to my notice that your probably ill-lit but certainly mineral-rich ‘kingdom’ possesses an excess of tin, a commodity of which Himlad is in sadly low supply. I am therefore writing to request that you send us one-quarter tonne of tin in exchange for four thousand bushels of barley.

Sincerely,

Curufin, Lord of Himlad

-

Dear Cousin,

What, no small talk? And here I thought us friends! Well, you did always resist that label, but given that _I_ resisted holding a grudge following certain unnamed but not unforgotten events, I thought you might be willing to evolve from chilly formality to lukewarm cordiality.

My wounded feelings aside, I am happy to send you the quarter tonne of tin requested. Your offer of four thousand bushels barley in return is almost offensively inadequate – what would Caranthir say? Probably that fifty four hundred is closer to the mark, which it is – but I will extend you the family discount. (‘Offensively inadequate’ and ‘family’ going hand in hand as they do.)

Warmly,

Finrod

(And it’s King of Nargothrond, actually.)

-

Dear King, or Cousin, or whichever form of address you have less of a bug up your arse about,

For someone purporting to be leaving things in the past, you brought them up in your third sentence. So much for the famed diplomacy – unless passive aggression is a diplomatic strategy previously unknown to me. If so, I feel I might excel at that art after all.

Thank you for the ‘family’ discount. I will give you the half-cousin courtesy of not sending it with a messenger who will read it and scribble phalluses next to your name.

Sincerely,

Curufin

-

Dear Curufin,

Passive aggression _is_ an art, and one I feel I could apprentice myself to were I studying at your elbow! With that in mind, I have slightly changed my plans for delivery of the tin.

I hope you will not be too put out.

Fondly,

Finrod

 

* * *

 

Dear Finrod,

When I ordered the quarter-tonne from you, I am certain I did not request an in-person delivery. Was it so you could count the barley yourself and make sure I was not even more offensively short-changing you? Regardless of motive, I suppose I appreciate the gesture. I appreciate less the extensive revenue – and luggage – you brought with you.

1)   I note you expect us to house said retinue without complaint.

2)   How long do you anticipate staying?? I have never seen such baggage.

I hope you will enjoy the rooms we have established – on short notice, I must point out.  Celegorm complained at length over having to remove his tanning equipment to the mews, but I think we got the smell out rather well.

Do let me know if there is anything further you require. A kidney, perhaps, or my first-born son. He is skilled in the forge, though shy and apt to turn red when spoken to, so perhaps you’d prefer the kidney.

Graciously,

Curufin

-

Dear Curufin,

I never thought I’d say this, but you are friendlier in your letters than you are in person. When you greeted me yesterday, it was with such icy formality that I thought I might have to remind you of who I am – would a nametag have helped?

But then I received your letter at my quarters. (You are right, the smell there is barely noticeable.) I suppose a correspondence habit is hard to break, or perhaps you simply prefer the control you have over words that you may lack in a face-to-face moment. But forgive me – there I go, demonstrating the very qualities that I am sure make you wish to keep our interactions strictly textual. How you loathe being analyzed, in any medium.

Your letter warmed me for several reasons:

1)   You accurately remembered my title !

2)   You generously offered me anything further I required. Hm. The offer of an organ is always tempting, but kidneys I have. I shall give it further thought, my gracious host.

It is good to be here.

Fondly,

Finrod

-

Dear Finrod,

1)   Learn to decipher sarcasm, or at least stop ignoring it outright.

2)   It is adequate to have you here. I do not think we shall have much for you to do – pampered lords such as yourself tend to enjoy more luxury than our meager stronghold can offer – but you have always been relatively creative.

3)   Should your creativity fail you, you could always join us in our suite after dinner for drinks and games.

Respectfully,

Curufin

-

Dear Curufin,

I am very fond of games, and a conversation with your son led me to understand that you play everything from the Soldier’s game of _Tactic_ to the soldier’s game of gambling the shirt off your back. What shall I bring? A silmaril or two?

Inquisitively,

Finrod

-

Dear Finrod,

Gold will suffice.

Curufin

 

* * *

 

Dear Curufin,

You are not one for mornings, are you? I have to say it is nice to know there is something you do not best me at, as until now, I thought the only things on that list included certain games of strategy, the consumption of wine, and the friendly treatment of cousins.

At any rate, should you wonder where I am – though why would you? – I have gone hunting with your brother. If he returns without me, you can assume he has killed and skinned me, as he threatened last night when I beat him at dice. If neither of us return by dinner, you can assume that he has lied about his prowess with tracking, and we are lost.

In either case, please send assistance.

In some trepidation I remain,

Finrod

-

Dear Finrod,

I confess I was not expecting such an impressive guest gift from you, particularly one more in line with my brother’s tastes than my own. A stag’s head, however well-racked, deposited on my bed, was not what I had in mind when I said you could get me a small item of thanks. It has soiled my sheets, is not at all the color I fancy, and besides, I already have one.

Thank you but no thank you,

Curufin

-

Dear Curvo,

I am terribly sorry about your sheets. Perhaps you could stop by my quarters while they are being cleaned. My own are in excellent shape.

Sincerely,

Finrod

-

Ingoldo,

Subtle.

Curufin

-

Curvo,

I was merely seeing if you cared to partake in the wine I brought amongst my excessive and much commented-on luggage from Nargothrond.

Also, don’t you think you have wearied this poor messenger enough? Bring your next answer in person, and let her go to bed.

Ingo

-

Ingo,

Open your door, damn you.

C

 

* * *

 

My dear Curufin,

I am glad you enjoyed the wine – and the clean sheets – last night. Once again I have to comment on your preference for late slumber. You miss the best part of the day this way! I am off to categorize some of Himlad’s birds, and then have breakfast. If you are still not up when I return, I shall bring you some.

Breakfast, I mean, not birds.

Yours,

Ingoldo

-

Dear Ingoldo,

I hope the birds avoided you, as they have been trained to by my brother. I am not a breakfast person, but thank you anyway.

As my sheets are clean by now, I have returned to my own quarters.

And speaking of sheets, I have ordered a maid to come collect yours, as they may now be in need of cleaning themselves.

Sincerely,

Curufin

-

Dear Curvo,

I was disappointed to return and find your note and not you. You looked rather fetching when I left you, and I found myself wanting to capture a sketch of the scene – but I suspect you would have killed and skinned me yourself had you discovered my actions.

Therefore I shall try another time, and not tell you.

Yours,

Ingo

PS I appreciate the hygienic thoughtfulness, but please tell them to bring my sheets back.

-

Guest and cousin Finrod,

You are getting overly familiar in your missives. Kindly remember that not all messengers are without curiosity, and some will open the notes you send.

Sincerely,

Curufin

-

C,

Why do you think I sent that one with Celegorm?

F

-

Finrod,

That explains why he’s alternated between leering and snapping at me all day.

Curufin

PS I have read about a new strategy I wish to attempt in _Tactic_. Come by my quarters later and I shall try it on you.

-

C,

How tantalizing.

F

-

F,

You send me a note just for that?

Next time, come yourself.

C

-

Curvo,

Open your door, for Eru’s sake. I’m freezing out here and it’s your fault.

F

PS I’m wearing the thing you suggested. In case you didn’t pick up on that.

 

* * *

 

My dear,

In future, when I require you to be expedient about something, I shall simply put on – or say I have put on – a certain robe. I have never seen you move faster. I know you say that correlation does not equate to causation, but the bruises on my hips attest to the latter.

You _do_ like a transparent material, don’t you?

Yours,

Ingoldo

-

Dear Ingoldo,

I said it last night and I will say it again – smugness is a poor look on you, elegant handwriting or no.

At any rate, do not bother to come by tonight, as I have a council meeting to prepare for in the morning.

Curufin

-

Dear Curvo,

Funnily enough, I have been told I am exceedingly helpful when it comes to preparation. I’ll see you in an hour.

Finrod

 

* * *

 

Dear Curufin,

You spoke quite well in council this morning; so well in fact that I found myself distracted by the cadence of your voice and the power of your tone as much as your words. There was something of your father there.

Perhaps it was also that I could not put from my mind the way you absently tucked the stray lock of hair behind my ear this morning and without rancor told me I looked a mess. That the voice that could talk to me so familiarly could also wield such power…

Well. It is a stirring combination. Clearly the preparation of the night before paid dividends.

Just thought you should know.

Yours,

Finrod

-

Curvo,

I continue to dwell on your performance – for that is inarguably what it was – this morning. I know I have just barely sent off my previous message, but my hand seeks the quill as readily as your lips part around assertion. I find your confidence, your boldness, your assurance of power as redolent as the electricity in the air in advance of an ocean storm. I compared you to your father before, but I think that does you little justice. He was fire but you are electricity, a crackle in the air. And beneath it all, the controlled and steady beat of waves on the shore.

You have no love for the sea, you tell me, but there is something of its power in your voice, and I – a child with salt water in his veins, however we both refuse to mention such things – am helpless against it.

Yours,

Ingoldo

-

Dear Finrod,

Are you drunk? Or just unwise?

This letter gave the distinct impression of having been written with one hand occupied, though I half suspect you are as aroused by your own pretension as any of my so-called charms.

I can just picture it – you with a quill in one hand, probably that ridiculous peacock thing, and the other busy beneath the writing desk. Pushing aside fine silks to stroke your ego to full hardness – dripping over your use of metaphor and thrusting into a turn of phrase.

‘Nóm,’ indeed. There is little wise about you, Felagund. You are all barely caged desires and an over-willing tongue.

Curufin

-

Curvo,

By the Valar, what did you wish to do to me with that letter of yours? If the answer was ‘rise half to my feet, breath catching in my throat and blood stirring in my loins’, then you have succeeded.

I need to wash quickly, but by the time the messenger reaches you, I shall be on my way over.

F

 

* * *

 

Brother,

Get a new damn messenger, this one’s an idiot and brought me your correspondence again.

I opened it, of course, and learned more than I wish of your _Tactic_ games with Felagund.

He’s been here a while. Doesn’t he have a kingdom to run or something?

Tyelko

-

Tyelko,

That was the messenger _you_ hired, on the basis of his fine brown eyes. You brought it on yourself.

And in future, do not open correspondence not addressed to you.

Curvo

 

* * *

 

My dear,

It is coming on a month, and I regret to say my responsibilities by the Narog beckon. Much as I would love to remain longer on your fine steppes – you know I’ve grown fond of the birds here – I fear I must leave on the morrow.

I shall not soon forget what hospitality I have experienced here, and I shall miss the sound of your voice – even if half the time it is raised at me in annoyance – and I already dread having to make do with the memory of it alone.

I am comforted to know that our correspondence, at least, might continue.

Affectionately,

Finrod

-

Dear Finrod,

You depart as rudely as you arrive – with little to no warning. It makes one reluctant to invite you back as a guest. Neither the birds nor I will miss your poor etiquette and presumption – though I at least, will miss your wine.

And a certain robe.

The next time you come, bring fewer possessions (how many jewels does one individual need? Surely three is enough) but plan for a more extended trip; the short ones are pointless and accomplish little and are probably the result of you spending too much time with those moth-lived Edain. I promise you do not need so much luggage, though if you are really in need of spare clothing or luxuries you can always find someone from whom to borrow. I cannot promise that Celegorm will give up the real estate for guest rooms next time, but I am certain we can find you other accommodations.

If you cannot bear to drag yourself away from your precious river, perhaps I will condescend to attempt a visit to your own ‘kingdom’, though holes in the rock do not generally appeal. The architecture does sound intriguing.

Travel safe, if you must – I will await your next letter.

Yours,

Curufin

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I had to look up four different data tables and do a decent amount of math to make sure that Curufin was shortchanging Finrod on barley in a plausible manner.  
> 2\. Now includes the option to listen to Finrod's sultry tones (courtesy emilyenrose) and Curufin's Alan Rickmanesque sniggering (courtesy thelioninmybed) - that's right, there's [podfic](https://soundcloud.com/thelioninmybed/correspondingly-so/s-oNnFY).


End file.
